A mention of “tethers” recently occurred in a conversation with Chris Coniaris, my friend and yoga teacher. Chris lives a rigorously simple, mostly untethered life. I admire his spartan ethic. A tether is typically considered a limitation, something that ties one down and restricts range of movement. In its most restrictive application, it’s incarceration.
Free is tether’s antonym. Is freedom a luxury? A security? Is it a source of comfort? Discomfort? Do you want it and do you know what you’d do with it if you had freedom? Who can handle it? If you disconnect from your tethers, then does liberation follow? Are commitments tethers? Can a tether be a responsibility with a reward? Without tethers, we’d never own houses, we’d never have children or pets, and we’d not have as much opportunity to reap dividends gained by overcoming difficulties.
After years of ruminating about the meaning of life, reading about it, listening to lyrics about it, and discussing it, I’m still not absolutely clear that I know what this is for me. I do know that I’d be unlikely to find meaning in the absence of relationship to others. A close friend of mine and I have an agreement related to the end of life. In the event that either one of us loses cognitive or other functional facility to sustain relationships. the functional person, where possible and legal, will assist in the non-functional person’s elective euthanasia. Life without relationship isn’t worth living. I’ll not give up my tether to relationships.
My dog Lola is a tether. I wouldn’t give up my relationship with her for anything. The love I’m able to give and receive turns the tether of this responsibility into its own reward.
I neither plan nor desire to live the rest of my life as a single person. I want and need to bump up against a significant other. I have a girlfriend, Sheila Cullen, with whom I’ve been an open book regarding my needs and interests. She knows that I love her but she also knows that I need our togetherness to accommodate my independence. My relationship with Sheila is a tether that I embrace.
Tethers come with more questions than answers. This conversation about tethers ties back to my previous post about decisions. Barring unforeseen circumstances, my RV will arrive in April. I’ll be tethered to taking good care of it, paying for it, insuring it, and improving it. I relish the opportunity that comes with this tether. My decision to not replace my home at the time of its sale is about a tether that always has taken time, energy, and resources that come with the territory. The home that I’ve lived in for 15 1/2 years and will part with in a month takes more out of me than it gives back to me at this time in my life.
Becoming untethered is being set loose. I’ll take advantage of being set loose but I’ll not disconnect.
Four Wheels and a Dog 